Not Cute

I remember, I thought

he was kinda cute,

until his words

slapped me brutal.

 

Told another boy,

"Man that's the ugliest girl, I've

ever seen", laughing down.

 

Eyes peaked with

warm tears, that

seeped away all

the dignity left in me..

 Felt I was underneath

the concrete I stood upon,

blended in, near dingy

trampled grass.

 

My voice seemed distant
not yet present
to retaliate
for the sake of me.

Momma told me not to worry,

she said, "That's just baby fat"

knew I was nobody's baby.

 

I came to think

my sweet tummy

rolls of flesh were

stacked just like

3-layer chocolate cake.

 Too much of it just makes you sick.

 

Tanette
2006

Purge

I want to follow my niche,

to rid mysef of this flesh itch.

Lord I feel contempt
for sins I did commit.

I pray, I beg, that I
can follow you instead.

To fall on my knees and pray,to
praise you despite the pain anyway.

Want my tears to roll their course,
and help me in my silent rejoice.

Then I'll scream to the top of my lungs,
so that God can know I am the one.

That hears his voice,
willing to make that choice...

to give myself and give myself,
until I have none of me left.

I have gone away and stayed
but in my heart did obedience lay.

I cry out and I cry out,
so that my soul follows the right route.

I reach my hands far in the air,
the length of time I do not care.

For he sees me in the act and
gives me grace when I fall back.

Hallelujah and Glory too...
I will praise him in the way I move.

Take away the things in me,
that are keeping me from being free.

Purge me...
Purge me...
Purge me clean,

so it is only you that I lean.

Tanette

Resurrection Day 2010

Paralyzed, After Petronius Arbiter

 

Good God, what a night that was,
the bed could not hold us for long,
when sheets got in the way,
of each stroke, you stroke
against the fatty side of my
thicker thigh, of that leg of mine
that kept falling along the way-side
of the bed, leading to the floor.
Finding freedom against the carpet,
toes burning free to the rhythm of my
arched back in motion, your hands gripping
my hip-flesh, passion flowing through our sweat.

Tanette
2007

Empty

They,
skipped over my love
to find the easy places.

Slid through cracks
embedded in my heart,
left empty
from their touch.

Only to find
the lit pathway
to vulnerable lips,
thighs anxious to spread open,
seeking passion

They,
only cared enough
to quiver
rough hands
along uncertain curves

Passed by
lonely corners, and
abandoned crevices
along the way.

 

Made sure,
they got theirs,
always.

Left me empty,
staring at fine lines
in dingy paint
of ceilings.

Tanette
2006

 

Light

You illuminate the path to
which my feet thread.
Leading me out of my
dark places, and uncovering
the stubborn holes I
always seem to find.
Lunged deep into an
abyss of mystery and regret,
You deliver my soul to
a new place, where song
and verse, meet scripture
and I hold on tight
to our moments, first
where we stumbled upon
and then so happened
to reveal the true
meaning of fate.

Tanette 2011

Anticipation

I still think of that night, deep folds of dark seemed softened.  . As if the room glistened in a whole new light. Your figure was the clearest.  I found myself looking up to the heavens speaking in the tongues of us. Time quickened, as you drew near my center, and I opened up to let you in.   Inside I felt tiny eruptions go off, and it was at that moment I craved for the next moments to mimic the last.

Tanette
2012

Moon-Appeal

Sometimes I feel the need
to feed the other self of me.
To go out when the moon is
near- and I find that it too
flirts with the stars when it’s
all alone. Then I take the time
to find the part of me that loves to
unwind with the wind, and let
that breeze carry me as far
as my feet will take me. I distinctly
discover the dance of freedom
after dark. Find that I do it best
with my eyes closed tight.
Spinning round and round
in my on sweet delight. Don’t
need nobody when I’m in my groove,
doing my own signature move.
Still I like to mimic the moon
and its stars, and I find someone
fine to flirt and feel close behind.
Give him time I normally wouldn’t,
but this time will. Let him
falsely fill the void within me,
while I control the beat.
Allow him to be my star for tonight.
All night he is in awe of me.as I lure him in
Like the appeal of the moon.
He inhales deep the glow of my soul,
against the reflection of my curves.

Tanette 2010

Cycle

Just yesterday...
I forgot his existence.
Had a fresh vacancy
for someone else
to move in.

So I, got lost
in the me of things.
Took the time
to soak my feet tender.
Painting them a relieving red,
if that makes any sense.
I just feel better when
my feet are colored, smooth.
Like to press the meat of my fingers
 across the shiny lacquered tops.

It felt good to feel good
about me again.
Riding down 65th street,
listening to nothing but the
beat of the wind, cool
spaces of air meeting
cheek. Didn't even need my music.
I was already calm.
             
When I looked over to
my passenger side,
I happened to see it
full view.  It was that
thing, he always wanted,
a Cadillac-something or another,
Misty Blue.

Just one thing,
on the list of things
he wanted, never
tried hard enough to get.

When I saw it, I didn't
see the driver, just it,
and the cool blue seemed
to run through me
like a bad vibe.

Tanette
2007

 

 

Blue Moon

In moonlit dark, between
distant gaps of space,
I find the lingering shadows of you,
and let my mind stumble upon
a good image you left behind.
Allow the vulnerable self of me
to mold that image to fill the slits
of vacancies you created before, and for
a few brief moments I dance to
the sweet rhythm of what I thought
we could have been.

Tanette 2010

 

Loop of Me

Though you are not single, and
I seem urged to mingle; I desire to stay close to you.
I find that your essence is the same shape of my own.
I love to linger in the part of my mind that you stay kept.
You are there; quietly tucked away from others you lay.
When we talk, I get a certain dull chill that
always strikes me sharp. I like the dullness of it though.
The way it softly penetrates through me and then out of me, right at the very moment you speak.
Though you are far-flung, I like to come close to you
with my words, and caress your cheek
with a cordial embrace. You are with her, but I know you want
me close still.
So I stay near enough to keep you hanging
in the loop of me.

Tanette 2010

 It is funny how someone can still leave an impression on you years after you physically connected with them.  Have you ever yearned to keep someone in your loop or even fancied with the idea of such? :-)